Our Son’s Birth Story
This birth took me bit of time to process. It was long, it was exhausting, it was not linear, and it was the hardest of all three of my babies. However, like any birth, it cracked me open a level deeper. Our son’s birth showed me the value in patience, trust, and mind over matter. That within us, when we believe we have nothing left, lies a deep pit of God given strength and wisdom. That our bodies are incredibly wise and our minds and spirits hold the utmost power.
Our son, Luca, was born on a Monday, August 18th, mid afternoon, at 40 weeks and 3 days, but his birth story really began a few days prior. The Wednesday prior, I went to acupuncture like I had done with our second, with hopes to prep my body for labor. My acupuncturist hit the induction points and I was planning to head back the following week for another tune up if needed.
Following acupuncture, life went on as a normal, and I didn't feel any hints of labor starting. On Friday, August 15th, at exactly 40 weeks, I went to my midwife appointment, only to find he was no longer completely vertex and engaged in my pelvis- he was in an oblique lie, with his head resting of my left hip. Not ideal for birth and not what you want to hear at 40 weeks pregnant.
After some spiraling on the drive home, my doula, Corby, reminded me that I had to focus on what was in my control, which was how I could move my body to better support him and myself, and hope that through certain movements, his head would slide back into my pelvis prior to labor starting. Friday and Saturday I did the miles circuit, curb walking, hip dips, meditations, exercises from my birth prep program and let the rest go.
Saturday morning I noticed I was loosing some of my mucous plug and knew labor would come soon (with both girls I lost it in the morning and labor started that night). Sure enough, Saturday night, around 10:30pm, just as I was falling asleep the cramps started. They were mild and I was able to get some rest and stay in bed- but wasn't really sleeping well. I averaged maybe 3-4 hours Saturday night. Definitely knew I was in early labor.
By Sunday morning, they were consistent, but manageable, and still spaced out. I walked, I did the miles circuit to keep things going, and made sure to hydrate. Sunday evening came around and as they got closer together, I asked my Mom and our birth doula to come over. Putting our second child to bed that night was both challenging through contractions, but also special because I knew soon she would no longer be the baby.
Once my older two children were asleep and my Mom was at our house, my doula helped me get to work and focus on laboring. She was monitoring my contractions and how I was coping. She set up a beautiful bath for me when things started to pick up and eventually around 11:30pm we called the midwife (my contractions were a 4-1-1 pattern and picking up in intensity) and since we were 40 minutes from the hospital, she told us to come in.
At around midnight we left. I listened to my hyponobirthing tracks in the car, drank some water, and we made it to the hospital in 30 minutes or so since it was the middle of night. By this time the contractions were still coming strong and steady, so we skipped triage and went right to a room. In our minds, it wouldn't be long until we met our baby.
The midwife came and checked me and I was between 5-6 cm at 1:30am, he still wasn't engaged in pelvis, but she said as a third time Mom, it shouldn't be much longer until we met our baby.
I continued to labor throughout the night with my husband and doula, no one slept or rested, but we did not predict it would be longer than it was. By morning, at around 7:30am, I was 8cm and my water broke. It was the first time my water broke completely and naturally, so that was pretty cool! That was one of my hopes for this birth and was neat to experience. The midwives then reassured us since it was baby #3 he would be here in no time and to work on some positioning to help move things along.
A couple hours later, mid morning, still laboring, now completely exhausted from little to no sleep in 48 hours , trying to move him down into the pelvis through the miles circuit, movement, etc. (since midwives checked and he was still high and not engaged)- we knew we needed to shift the game plan. I got an IV of fluids since his heart rate was lingering a bit high and I was exhausted from running on 3-4 hours of sleep over a two day period and laboring for so long. The IV gave me some life and I knew I needed to rest as contractions were still coming strong and I barely had any every left to cope well. By 9:30am or so, I just told my body to stop. Stop the contractions and please just rest. I knew there was absolutely no way I could finish this birth if I didn't rest.
Sure enough, even that far dilated along, water broken and all- my doula helped me into puppy pose complete with all the cozy pillows on the bed- and I was out. We all rested for a bit...and I went from steady and strong contractions all morning- to maybe two over a 45 minute period. I had no idea your mind could stop your body from laboring, literally, so far along, but sure enough it helped!
The midwife was concerned things were slowing down, but I said a break was the only way we were getting to the end. My doula reminded me to trust my body and trust the process and to just ignore the midwives worry of time. All was well. Corby (my doula) kept reminding me that surrendering was the way. That’s how he was going to make it in my arms and this was just a stop along the way.
After rest, I got another hit of IV fluids to help give me some energy and to support baby boy. We got moving again, this time in the shower on a birthing ball because it rejuvenated me, helped with pain management, and also supported the contractions picking up again. I was still struggling with some intense fatigue between no sleep and long labor- but my husband, doula, and sweet labor nurse kept me positive and refocused.
One of the hardest parts of this labor was the mental game, alongside coping with the physical intensity. The birth of my second, unmedicated as well, was tough, but it was not nearly as long- first contraction to birth was about 20 hours- so it was doable. At this point I had been having contractions since Saturday night at 10:30pm and it was near noon on Monday and didn’t sleep a wink Sunday into Monday. I was tired in every single meaning of the word and at many points I was near breaking down, doubt was strong as ever. It is through God’s strength and grace and the support of my husband, doula, and the sweet labor nurse that I kept going.
At one point, around 9cm, when I suggested an epidural both my nurse and doula reminded me it was all my choice, but after I had made it this far, they truly believed I could just finish it and that was all I needed to keep going.
After another “rest” time around noon or so, first with puppy pose which was heavenly, but then an excruciating side lying experience (which was only about 20-30 minutes or so, but was extremely uncomfortable through contractions), his head had finally engaged in the pelvis and he was no longer oblique. I had heard that sometimes the movements you avoid in labor because they are so uncomfortable, are sometimes the ones you must do to get the baby in the right position for birth, and this rang true for me. I am so grateful that at the end of the day all of the movement worked, although this funky positioning really made this birth a lot tougher to navigate and longer.
Finally, at 1:45pm, after giving him some time move down and settle in, I started pushing. In hindsight, maybe we should have waited a little longer to labor down, but nonetheless we began this portion of his birth. I got that burst of energy that you get only when you know you are minutes from meeting your baby and thank goodness for that because he was not born until 3:32pm. I pushed for my third almost as long as it took for me to push my first. This was again not something I expected for a third baby, but after a multitude of positions between standing, squat bar, all fours, etc., my fatigue was getting the best of me and I ended up birthing him on my back (which I know isn’t ideal), but in those moments it really felt best for me. The midwives asked my husband if he wanted to catch the baby, to which he said yes, and our little boy came, slowly of course because that was the theme of the whole birth, into the world into my husbands arms then mine!
There is nothing the compares to the feeling of your baby being brought to your chest after birth. In that moment I felt complete relief and a deep sense of peace. Before I could even study all his beautiful features, I had to take a full breathe and express gratitude in the fact that he was here, he was well, and I was well. We had made it together.
My placenta came pretty quickly after birth, and was quite large, which was neat to see. My bleeding thankfully was normal and for the first time in all three births, I did not tear, so that was a blessing.
In the hours and days that followed birth, the oxytocin high was my saving grace to make up for the utter exhaustion I was feeling from the whole nearly 40 hour labor. We spent one night at the hospital and upon arriving home, I was so tired I was shaking…because who really sleeps in hospitals either? I cannot, even after all that. Thankfully, my Mom was with us at home and able to help with the girls so I could get some rest, and I sure did.
Birth is a beautiful. and sacred experience. I love the quote that states that birth is a time when the veil between Heaven and Earth is quite thin; I believe it. There is nothing I have ever done in my life that breaks me down more than birth, but that also renews me with more strength, clarity, connectedness, and purpose. This birth was specifically a reminder that we can’t do it alone. That we absolutely need others to support us and walk with us on this path, both in life and in Motherhood…and just when you think can’t do it, when you have absolutely nothing left, there will be reservoir of spiritual strength that you can draw from as long as you believe it’s there.
